Some time ago, I was going through a terrible time. I won’t go into too much detail except to share that it was really, really a trying time. Nothing made sense in my head, my mind couldn’t stop working and I woke up every morning with a racing, panicking heart. It made me wonder if my heart would give up on me one day. I also lost my appetite and I just wasn’t happy. Kev tried his best to encourage me with verses every morning to lift my spirits, my sister too tried her ways but I was really down in the dumps. On my part, I was also trying to hold on to verses to bring me comfort, like Psalm 18 and I still didn’t get my breakthrough.
That particular Sunday, I really needed to hear from Daddy God and understand why I’m going through what I was going through. I was a little upset when I realised it wasn’t Pastor Prince preaching but Pastor Brian instead, and I doubted He was able to speak through him but… he did. :’)
Humanity takes what is glorious and ruins it. God takes what is ruined and makes it glorious. – Brian Houston
Only Daddy God can cause things to rise up from the ashes. Only He can breathe new life into the smoky ruins. It really felt at that point in time that my life was over (okay I’m being melodramatic here) and I didn’t know how I can go about rebuilding it. But it doesn’t matter because every big problem I face, becomes a small problem in His big hands.
I was so weak, so weak that I broke down in tears when I sat in for an earlier Rock Kidz service (after hearing the bible story) and I think my department leader was taken aback when he saw me huddled in a dark corner just bawling my eyes out. After a long talk with him (in a feeble attempt to make things make sense in my head), he prayed over me.
It definitely helped being in a multitude of wise counsel. Jamaine was sharing with me the verses that she was meditating on as she was also going through a valley period herself, Katherine pointed me to look unto Jesus, Rainbow sent me an encouraging text message and checked in with me to see how I was doing and Mike pronounced Daddy God’s favour upon me.
And suddenly as I stepped into the new week, that cloud of gloom and doom just lifted off me. Everything went back to normal, as if that evil period didn’t happen. I can’t explain it, I don’t know how to make sense of it, but I know one thing. It’s a spiritual warfare, and the devil wants my mind, and he wants my eyes off Jesus. I was definitely being tested, but only up to what my Daddy God will permit. He will not put me through more than what I can bear.
So what has the picture of me above have to do with this story I’m sharing? Well… at the end of the evil period, I received a piece of good news from Mirage Flowers, that I’ve won a floral crown. I had simply liked and shared their page’s post on the Saturday before I received my breakthrough and I didn’t think much of it since I’ve liked and shared a couple of things but I didn’t win any previously. I was pleasantly delighted when I receive a message in my inbox on Monday, telling that I was one of the winners for their giveaway At that instance, I had this overwhelming feeling that I’m dearly loved by my Abba, and He has crowned me with His goodness. Jesus had already redeemed from the curse of stress when He exchanged His crown of shalom peace for my crown of thorns. It’s as if He winked at me as I arrived at my own revelation
Can I just share with you one more thing? I’m not sure if I’ve shared with anyone before but I really, really, really wanted to watch Hairspray and Singing in the Rain musicals in Singapore and I was really hoping Daddy God would do that just for me. Guess what? Hairspray is really coming to Singapore, albeit for a short run! Thank you Abba, I’m indeed Your deeply loved, highly favoured and greatly blessed princess.
Photo credit: Mirage Flowers